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What I’d like to say to Mr. J

Your music has had a profound influence on my life, so now that I see you practically every day, it’s hard to articulate myself beyond casual talk about the weather. Plus, you weird me out. I can’t put my finger on it but it’s very odd behavior. You have to admit that.

Anyway, I have to get this off my chest: your music. I’m not really sure how I started listening to you, but it happened in 2004-05 when I lived in Alaska. I had just moved there to follow my wife who was homesick. We had three children — the youngest then who’s your son’s classmate now — and we lived in my mother-in-law’s house. It was tough to be there to say the least. Cold, dark, maddening and definitely not Hawaii.

Your music pulled me through. It kindled warmth within my soul and made me feel good inside. It’s the way you emote such an organic, earth-toned, living, thoughtful, emotional presence. And I’m not being cliche by saying that, brah.

You probably don’t care to hear this, but I’m going through some of the songs that really stand out over the years of listening to you:

  • B***e — serendipitously, that’s my youngest daughter’s middle name. It’s short, sweet and exotic, just like her.
  • S*** P**** —  the oddness of it all makes me slightly uncomfortable about surfing, which is what it’s about…right?
  • C************s — My youngest daughter was only 3 days old. I carried her onto the plane as we returned back to the Big Island (she was born at Kapi‘olani). My wife was not on the plane yet. This song played only when I was with her, in its entirety, all the way down the slow-moving aisle traffic. I was alone, holding my ultimate crown jewel, and nothing else mattered in that beautiful moment. And the song fit us in every way.  When my wife returned, the song was pau.
  • P*****s — makes me think about my dad, at least when I had some internal, unresolved issues with him. It’s him at his worst and you’re singing a song about him! Felt great to have that to listen to.
  • J**T — I got this from archive.org and listened the everything very carefully. There’s a track that reminds me of an old girlfriend I had once, and how young naive and immature she actually was, after stepping on me of course.
  • [Soundtrack] — it’s brilliant and my children adore it. There’s one particular sad song that resonates for me the way a sad cello song would cling to a melancholy mood.
  • F-*** B**** — my favorite song for a long time. I don’t think it means anything but it’s so alive! I once asked my son on a long drive home to play this song at my funeral.
  • T** N*** — it made me cry. I’ve thought the same thing but never had the courage or platform to articulate why those people can report such deeply painful news without as much batting an eyelash.
  • M* L***** G*** — I ponder this all the time. How do you raise and nurture someone so pure and beautiful and young, someone wo deeply and inherently attached to you?

I could go on and on — haha — but I’ll stop. I’ll talk to you for real when I actually have something awesome to say. Maybe you’ll be a little more approachable when I actually get to that level (or at least near it).

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