As much as this sucks I got to get used to a regular, tough disciplined schedule. Somewhere along the line the regularity will start producing results, which should over time improve and evolve.
Sometimes I think my moping melancholy is a reaction more to myself and inaction than to other people who make my life difficult (only one other person, actually).
If I really think about it, I know what it takes to be successful, or at least to make a little more money so I can be in a place to build and grow success.
It may be difficult, but there is nothing really stopping me from going though with it.