You have to learn the meaning of desperation to know the feeling of privilege, but that’s pretty cliche and even confusing.
My days are spent desperate for a better situation but oblivious to the privileges I have. And although it never hurts to hear about how much better I have it than others, it never helps.
I live in Hawaii in the USA, which is about as good as it gets. I may not make a lot of money but I own a house and I have 4 healthy children and a beautiful hard-working wife. They go to private school and we all have health care.
To top it off, we own 2 cars and quite a bit of stuff. Right now we’re contemplating the purchase of a Playstation 3, wondering if it’s the best thing to do for the advancement of the children. Our argument is that it’s good entertainment.
But mind you, in the house we have 2 TVs (one a wall-mounted LCD), 2 DVD players, 3 computers, a fax machine, 3 cell phones (2 are iPhones) and a Kindle reader. We also have an espresso machine (2 actually) and countless other gadgets.
Now at which point did I decide that my life wasn’t good enough?
I’ve framed the question to be sarcastic, because everyone knows it’s ridiculous to think that cars and TV and such are going to bring us happiness. They won’t and they don’t.
I’m seeking that which cannot be bought, but requires money. That which can only be learned and experienced, but not taught. That which fulfills a void but is perhaps a void itself.
Would I trade in my things at this point to feel fulfillment? No, because it wouldn’t make a difference. I already don’t glean happiness or fulfillment from them. They are in fact tools.
What I’d like to do is keep feeling desperate and privileged at the same time. That way I’ll be sure to get to where I’m going.