Money, work, clients. I asked and I got it. Now I’m overwhelmed and fearful of losing myself to consulting when all I really want to do is create content. Such is life.
Discipline now becomes everything. Intent–>Goals–>Discipline.
Yeah BLAH BLAH BLAH.
The real question is how can I build a sphere around me that ensures I succeed the way I envision? I’m definitely not the kind of guy who thinks he needs something as asinine as Burning Man to find myself. I mean, c’mon white people (and I don’t mean skin color), does going to the desert to disrupt your mundane privileges and sullen, petty expectations make you feel like you’re closer to God? Really?
People with real souls don’t do that shit. It’s too mental. Ask Don Juan and Carlos. They’ll tell show you.
Yet, I’m still a grain of sand on the beach. A nobody with a mind, a sack of flesh with the occasional notion of something bigger and better. I don’t even write everyday.
The stream of consciousness, and intent
For now it’s really good just to sit and write and forget about all the other structure bullshit. For example, I’m still angry at my old job. I find them to be ill-serving to humanity. They are machines trying to fit into a world with passion and soul and grace. Facebook is like this. It’s just one huge, useful tool that frankly, is getting boring.
Google is different. I feel their intent, their soul.
Sometimes I wonder if I just some guy who lives too close to the beach and gets a little too much sun to actually be counted as legitimate. After all, I’m not really doing anything notable. I’m doing what I can to make the bils, and that’s about it. Not even one millionth of one percent of what’s possible.
Shit.