37, married with four kids. Homeowner. Unemployed, almost broke, career fail, scared, frustrated, depressed, oppressed.
But, I’m free. We’re free.
It’s not going to be easy, but this feels like the start of creating our own destiny. The only thing we need is money, and I’ll be damned if I let something like that come in my way (I will do it).
And guess what else? I’m writing after not writing for over a decade. I don’t mean the earlier blog stuff, but actually writing these short essays where I articulate an idea with grace. It’s actually enjoyable, it feels good.
I’m getting sun. I’ve been in the warm blue Hawaiian ocean a few times. I’ll admit my health isn’t that great right now—I’m a fat balding bastard—but the kids say I’ve lost weight, and who knows maybe I’ll stop the hair from shedding like pine needles.
The best part by far is I’m regaining my footing as dad, husband and man of the house. I’m just now thinking about how I can make my kids happier, what kind of clever games I can play with them, and actually planting myself in their lives as a pillar of strength, love and compassion.
None of the things above existed the past year. The people I was around, the ones I worked with everyday, they didn’t get it. They live in a world of thoughts and ideas, concepts and products and the occasional snicker. There’s a part of me that likes that, too, but it’s not pono.
Now, onto the point of this post: freedom. We can create our own destiny. Just need to be smart and diligent and strong.
Here’s how it could shake down:
- This coming year: here, Oahu North Shore or the remote possibility of San Francisco.
- Next summer: Bali or move the where we’ll be settling for next 4 years.
- Next school year: so far we got Oahu town, San Francisco, Bali or San Diego.
I never, ever thought I’d have the freedom to entertain these options!