Fire By Sea

You think they do but they don’t. It’s rare to find a thought or feeling or action or task that can be realized or executed with utter abandon. I’m not talking about survival mode or your wedding day or the thrill of catching a fish.

I mean just doing something just for the sake of doing it. And having no judgement or worry whatsoever. Just doing it.

Why do we get so attached to things that don’t really matter? Why do we waste so much of our life energy oblivious to the (oh-so-obvious) vibrations all around?

Hey, I’m just asking. It’s not like I’m going to feel this way forever. I just happen to be curious right now. I won’t know what I’m talking about later. (7/3)

This is going to sound ridiculous, but the meaning of business is create a storefront for people who’ve ran out of freedom…creative freedom, financial freedom, personal freedoms.

It’s a mechanism for feeling important and making money. It kills art. There, I said it — business kills art and I’m not pleased with that. I’m not happy that I’m forced to curb my writing–my art–into a business.

And to top it all off it’s not even working. I’m not only a failed writer but a failed businessman. Boo hoo hoo.

It matters not because I’m still here writing and caring about my words. Not so much with the business, though. (7/3)

If you’re actually reading this, then you know who you are. I imagine you’re the one who understands me most, the one most like me. Writing and reading comes naturally to you (okay that was dead giveaway).

Well if you’re reading this I’m happy, because maybe all along–even though I didn’t realize it until now–I’ve been writing this to you and for you.

You’re going to reading this entire blog one day and you’ll know me that much better.

You’ll perhaps understand why I never seemed perfect. Any why I always seemed overwhelmed — I mean just look at the junk in my head! (7/3)

That’s my baseline question to people who are wealthy. If the answer is yes, then they’ve worked for their wealth. If no, then it’s been handed to them.

Going down the list of the 3 wealthy people I personally know (and who immediately came to mind), it’s 2/3 not mowing their lawn. What does that say?

Usually when I’m mowing my own lawn I wonder if Obama ever did the same. I tend to think yes, he did. And I wonder kind of things he thought about. It’s during that time especially I start thinking about the bigger picture in life.

Have you ever mowed your own lawn?

Which is publishing. Web stuff is to pay the bills, damn it! But now that I’m getting busier, I’m losing touch with the bedrock of my livlihood.

I can’t let this happen.

It all comes down to discipline and time management. I could spend early mornings on the publishing stuff — writing, networking, crawling until I can walk.

But right now I’m ill and very tired. Body is breaking down. Losing touch, cramps, dry mouth, headache, dehydrated, overall fatigued.

Getting sick of writing without gusto. Chasing things that aren’t good for me but I have to. What’s a frustrated dad of four to do?

First off, stick to the theory for now. Go on with both as they were designed to be in theory: one publishing, the other marketing. Remember that each needs each other.

Use #2 as a control for the study of #1. Talk about what it’s like to build a community through the web using a ‘blog’ as the medium. Can it be done?

With #1, keep working on the ‘magic app’ — the one that helps choosers. There is an answer out there for choosers — it just needs to be developed more, and perhaps what not a better way to do that than using #2 with real people.

Remember the present priorities: #1 cash flow, #2 progressively interesting work, #3 innovative genius.

Stay the course.

Am I doing it again? Now that I’ve split one company into two, I’m not sure what to do with the first one. Company #1 is about publishing and how to advance it in the current world. #2 is about marketing and how to get do it properly.

Now that #2 is taking on a life of it’s own, I’m losing touch with #1, even though it’s my greatest passion. It’s the point at which I feel most inspired and excited about what could be.

#1 is about innovation, passion, genius. #2 — safety, bringing things together, public face. In theory they should be feeding off each other.

What do I do?

It’s a powerful place with excellent surfing. I don’t mean run of the mill waves where you’re scratching with 10 other guys for a shitty longboard wave but many clean fast hollow big barrels for everyone.

Today I paddled out the shortboard and went for one wave: a right with a late, semi-hesitant drop. I got in and got barreled but then quickly paid the price, as my leash wrapped around my wrist. Plus I scraped my knee.

Good clean fun with power to humble the body, calm the mind and enjoy the things I have and not think about the thing I could be destroying the whatever head trip I’m on, too.

I’m convinced that inside each of us is a being capable of doing incredible things requiring superior creativity and analytical skills. Most of us rarely if even discover this being because we pollute and abuse ourselves from the outside in.

The mind isn’t consciously capable of getting to this clarity for some reason. The goals we set for ourselves to achieve this feeling are too plastic and contrived. What gets us there is intent, which is then catalyzed by a subconscious switch.

If that last paragraph didn’t make any sense, here’s a retake: try, there is no try. Do. Trying is a state of mind only. Doing is a state of action — physical, mental, spiritual, etc.

Talking about these things only gets you so far, Mr. Philosopher.