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What I actually said to Mr. J

“Sorry, XXXX, there’s no more pizza left for you. The kids vacuumed it up.”

“So, how do you motivate your child to surf? I can’t seem to get mine out there. My older one resisted, too, but now he’s all into it.”

“I feel kinda bad I brought so much junk food for the kids. Do your kids eat this stuff? Is it okay if they have some?”

“Thanks so much for inviting XXXX over for a sleepover. Now I’m going to go give him a peptalk.”

“Looks like you guys played Monopoly last night. How did that go?”

Whew. Good thing I didn’t follow my initial script.

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