Geographically, who knows —that seems out of my hands these days. But professionally, I will be creating content and getting paid for it. Not really as a writer per se but an editor.
I know that the only thing holding me back is my mental state. It’s fucked. I don’t believe in myself and it’s bullshit. People won’t care about what I’m creating if can’t be deeply passionate about it myself. And disciplined to keep at it day after day.
So in a year I must be over the career hump-funk which I am seeped in now. It’s rock bottom, and the only way I can pull out of it is by myself. No job can save me now. It’s the way the signs have bene pointing.
I’ll have so many obstacles which can easily become excuses: insufficient working space, too hot, surf is up, can’t focus. That’s all bullshit stuff. Just gotta sit down every day and maintain a vision, and in order to do this I’ll need a few things:
- People to engage with—be it virtual or in person, being around other people will certainly boost whatever I’m doing
- Taking time to learn new things – the Internet evolves quickly, people innovate quickly. The trick is to be breaking new ground.
- High-leverage work – finding people to do the work I don’t like or takes too much of my time.
If I don’t pull this off, I fear I’ll lose everything, and that will determine the next phase of life for me, my wife and the entire family. The pressure is on and this is the final piece of “unsolved mystery” which I absolutely must overcome. Without confidence, career and cash flow—I simply can’t proceed to the next echelon and I’ll be stuck in mojo-land for a very long and painful time.